Process two commands into variables simultaneously – Debian

I made this motd script:

#!/bin/bash

# Calulate avg CPU usage
usage=$((100-$(vmstat 1 2|tail -1|awk '{print $15}')))
aptlist=$(apt list --upgradable 2> /dev/null | sed 1d)

# Check if current usage isn't to high, else don't display the motd
if [[ ${usage%.*} -ge 95 ]];
then
  printf "motd disabled because current usage is %sn" "$usage"
else
  # The magic
  date=$(date)
#  usage=$(tail /proc/loadavg | awk '{print $1}')
  root_usage=$(df -h / | awk '/// {print $(NF-1)}')
#  memory_usage=$(free -m | grep Mem | awk '{print 100/$2*($2-$6+$5)}' | xargs printf "$1""%.2f")
  memory_usage=$(printf "%0.2f MB %d%%n" $(( $(sed -E '/^(MemTotal|MemFree|Cached|Buffers): *([0-9]*).*/'
'{s//2/;H;};$!d;x;s/[[:cntrl:]]//;s__/1024-_g;s_$_/1024_' /proc/meminfo) )) 
$(( $(sed -E '/^(MemTotal|MemFree|Cached|Buffers): *([0-9]*).*/'
'{s//2/;H;};$!d;x;s/[[:cntrl:]]//;s_([^n]+)n_@1@100*(1/1024-(_;s_n_/1024+_g;'
's_@([^@]+)@(.*)$_2/1024))/(1/1024)_' /proc/meminfo) )) | awk '{print $3}')
  users=$(users | wc -w)
  time=$(uptime | grep -ohe 'up .*' | sed 's/,/ hours/g' | awk '{ printf $2" "$3 }')
  processes=$(ps aux | wc -l)
  ip=$(ip addr | awk '/inet / { print $2 }' | sed -n '2{p;q}' | cut -d '/' -f1)
  ipv6=$(ip -6 addr |awk '{print $2}'| grep -v "^::" | grep "/" | head -n1 | cut -d '/' -f1)
  packages=$(dpkg-query -l | grep -c "^ii")
  updates=$(echo -n $aptlist | wc -l )
  secupdates=$(echo $aptlist | grep -c security )

  # The updates and secupdates var get's it's info thanks to this crontab/command
  # sudo apt-get -s dist-upgrade | grep "^Inst" | wc -l > /etc/update-motd.d/pkg.stats && apt-get -s dist-upgrade | grep "^Inst" | grep -i security | wc -l >> /etc/update-motd.d/pkg.stats
  # sudo crontab -l | { cat; echo "0 0 * * * apt-get -s dist-upgrade | grep "^Inst" | wc -l > /etc/update-motd.d/pkg.stats && apt-get -s dist-upgrade | grep "^Inst" | grep -i security | wc -l >> /etc/update-motd.d/pkg.stats"; } | crontab -
  # If you wish to not use crontab, switch the updates and secupdates comment's.

  # Header & motd
  printf "Welcome to %s (%s)" "$(lsb_release -s -d)" "$(uname -rm)"
  printf "n"

  echo "     __ __  __ _  __            _______"
  echo "    / //_/ / /(_)/ /__ ____    |_____|"
  echo "   / ,<   / // // //_// __     | │ │ |"
  echo "  / /| | / // // ,<  / /_/ /    |     |"
  echo " /_/ |_|/_//_//_/|_| ____/     ◯_____| "
  echo

  # System information
  echo "System information as of: $date"
  echo
#  printf "System Load:t%stSystem Uptime:t%sn" "$load" "$time" # Use this one if you prefer the linux proc avg
  printf "System Load:t%s%%tSystem Uptime:t%sn" "$usage" "$time"  # Overall processor usage
  printf "Memory Usage:t%stIP Address:t%sn" "$memory_usage" "$ip"
  if [[ $ipv6 == "" ]]
  then
    printf "Usage On /:t%stIPv6 Addres:tNo ipv6 address foundn" "$root_usage"
  else
    printf "Usage On /:t%stIPv6 Addres:t%sn" "$root_usage" "$ipv6"
  fi
  printf "Local Users:t%stProcesses:t%sn" "$users" "$processes"
  printf "Packages dpkg:t%stSession fortune: nn" "$packages"

  /usr/games/fortune

  # Check if there are updates
  echo
  if [[ $updates != 0 ]]
  then
    printf "%s updates can be installed immediately.n" "$updates"
    printf "%s of these updates are security updates.n" "$secupdates"
    printf "To see these additional updates run: apt list --upgradablenn"
  else
    printf "System is up-to-date!nn"
  fi

  # Check if a reboot is needed
  if [[ -f /var/run/reboot-required ]]
  then
    echo '*** System restart required ***'
  fi
fi
printf "%s" "$aptlist"

Now the execution time is 2 seconds b/c of these two commands:

usage=$((100-$(vmstat 1 2|tail -1|awk '{print $15}')))
aptlist=$(apt list --upgradable 2> /dev/null | sed 1d)

I tried to find a way to run both of the commands at the same time, so that it only takes a second (which would be amazing). Sadly using var1=cmd1 & var2=cmd2 doesn’t work and only the second get’s executed properly.

Anyone has a clue how to run two commands that go into each of their variables at the same time?
(i prefer to use the default tools in debian/Raspberry but if it’s impossible, i’m ok to install that package :))

Thank you for reading!